FROM behind the camera, I politely, but firmly, suggest that the female model be less vigorous with the sex toy she is using on her male co-star.
“It might be a good idea to be a little gentler,” I say. “You don’t want him to gag!”
Giving advice like this is all in a day’s work for me. I create fetish and BDSM videos, which can be watched on my websites.
A decade ago, I was in grad school after quitting my job in banking. Just for kicks, I answered an ad for a trainee dominatrix. Before long, I’d dropped out of school and was seeing BDSM clients and making videos in New York City.
When casting, the main thing I’m looking for is totally uninhibited, wanton depravity. The actors don’t have to be superhot or good-looking. It’s confidence that’s key.
On set, women can get in the mood pretty quickly — zero to 60 in a few seconds — but it can be a problem for the men. I tell them not to touch themselves in the two or three days before filming so they can maintain an erection for longer.
I don’t publicise what I do for a living, but my immediate family is aware of it, and I’m not ashamed. I’m able to provide an interesting showcase for men and women of colour in a place where they can feel safe and beautiful.
– As told to Jane Ridley
I PAY MY BILLS BY SELLING MY USED UNDEWEAR
HAVING worn the same underpants for 48 hours — during which I’ve run three miles in the blistering heat — I am relieved to finally take them off. But I don’t drop them in the laundry basket.
This pair of pink undies is destined for greater things: a one-way trip to Colorado, where a gentleman will do with them whatever he pleases.
I run a cottage industry — selling my worn undergarments to buyers across the US. It’s an easy way of making a little money.
It all started in January 2015, after I damaged my shoulder helping a friend move.
I had to give up my waitress jobs (at the Cheesecake Factory and California Pizza Kitchen) because I could no longer hold the trays. Another server confided that she occasionally sold her underwear for cash. I was intrigued.
I searched the internet and found pantydeal.com was my best option. It’s set up so the buyer and seller can communicate under assumed names. I pay $US19 ($A26) per month for membership.
My first deal went like a dream. A guy messaged me about a pair of panties he’d seen on my page. He wanted me to wear them for 24 hours, and to not masturbate in them (most men actually want you to do that). He paid me via PayPal within 20 minutes, and I shipped the undies off via USPS in a Ziploc bag and a discreet brown envelope.
The more info you share about yourself, the more popular your products, and the more you can charge. There’s no way I would show my face, because it’s not worth jeopardising a future career. I will send buyers a digital picture of myself — waist-down only — wearing the panties they’ve bought.
I charge a fixed price of $US15 ($A20) per pair of panties or pantyhose, which includes 48 hours of wear. Each additional day is an extra $US5 ($A7), though I’ll only go up to four days total.
I buy my panties in bulk from Rue 21 at 30 cents each. I make about $US60 ($A81) per week, which helps pay my share of the utility bills.
I’m single, but, if I had a steady boyfriend, I’d tell him what I was doing. At the moment, only my roommate knows.
I’ve had some interesting conversations with some of the buyers, like a middle-aged married man with kids, who secretly dresses as a woman and would love to be able to afford gender-reassignment surgery.
But if the conversation ever takes a sexy turn, I gently shift it back. I am running a business, after all.
– As told to Jane Ridley